Pages

Monday, February 20, 2012

First Campaign Challenge!

Today is the first day of Rachael Harrie's Fourth Campaign!  Hop over to her blog to get the official rules.  Here's the prompt for today!



Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!


Shadows crept across the wall.  The prison was cold and gloomy.  Thin strands of spiderwebs hung from the ceiling glittering in the moonlight and casting an eerie glow.  Isabelle wished she didn't have to bring food to the prisoners every night, she was scared of them.  These people weren't ordinary, they knew things other's didn't.  Isabelle walked down the stairs, her heart beating harder with every step.  As she got to the bottom she stopped dead in her tracks. A prisoner stared at her from the other side of the room.  His eyes glowed a powerful blue.
Isabelle gripped the container of orange mush in her hands.
"Get back in your cell!" Isabelle yelled.
He only stared back.
Then he moved closer, speeding up with every step.
"We need you Isabelle!  We need you!" His whispers echoed throughout the room.
Isabelle screamed and fell to the floor as a sharp pain pierced her neck.  Her whole body was pulsing.
Then the pulsing stopped, and a new feeling of purpose filled her.
"You know what to do," he said.
She pulled the key out from her pocket and opened everyone's cell.
She escaped with the prisoners and behind her everything faded.

Hope you enjoyed!  I'm # 37 vote for me if you liked it! :)

Thanks
Alyssa :)




116 comments:

  1. Oooo... way to build a nice setting, Alyssa! I felt the tension too. Nice work :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great job Alyssa! This was very suspenseful and I liked the tension throughout the passage. Very cool!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Alyssa, great job on building the tension!

    ReplyDelete
  4. wow! great getaway! i'd like to hear more!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love this challenge. You did great. Thanks for visiting my page and leaving such a nice comment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Prison scene. And a girl delivering food for the inmates. Yes. There's a lot you can embellish into a bigger story here. Nice one! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Right there with everybody who commented before me, great job. Nice one. +1 follower.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh man, super creepy. That was a great build up. I was on edge the whole time.

    Thanks for commenting on mine as well!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Alyssa, your descriptions are vivid and the story is suspenseful. You got my vote. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love creepy dungeon scenes and yours was wonderful! Well done! BTW, thanks for dropping by My Withershins, too! :) (In case you're wondering, I have trouble commenting using my Word Press identity so I'm using this one instead)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I enjoyed this! I'm only sorry that it was so short...I'm curious to know more. MORE MORE MORE! lol. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very intriguing! I want to know more!

    P.S.: I adore your cute panda background! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wish it was longer! Great job! New Follower.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ooh, creepy. You're good at building tension. I wish I knew what happened next!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Eerie and interesting....great job! :) (and thanks for your vote!)

    ReplyDelete
  16. A trip to the darkside. Nice job

    ReplyDelete
  17. Nice job! You did a great job creating the atmosphere. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. The tension and evocative atmosphere was tangible. Great entry!! Roland

    ReplyDelete
  19. Great job, nice tension, wonderful scene building...are you sure you're only 13?! Followed you right back!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Good tension. and your descriptions are great. I liked the "powerful blue". Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Brilliant description, I could almost feel the cold of the dungeon. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Loved it -- voting for you now :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. This was excellent - jailer turned paranormal criminal? What's not to love? :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh, that sounds interesting. I wish I knew what happened after the escape.

    (I'm #59)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh wow, kind of creepy! I wanted to find out what happens next!

    ReplyDelete
  26. wow - unique prison eh? well done!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well written. You kept the tension thick throughout. Great entry. You already visited me (#107)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wonderful! Bravo! I want to know where they go and who these prisoners are and their crimes! Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  29. You've got my like, and I'm curious about the prisoners.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Very tense, and I loved the twist at the end. I'm thinking the prisoners are vampires or something similar? Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Wish this were longer, because now my curiosity is peaked!

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is great! I'm curious what he did to her.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Great job, Alyssa! I love the vivid description at the start and I really want to know what exactly he did to her.

    I'm a new follower too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thanks everyone for all of the awesome comments and thanks for all of my awesome new followers!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  35. Wow! So much in just 200 words! I did not expect that she'd escape, I was thinking it was going to be another person dying (not that that's bad at all!...well, you know what I mean! lol). Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Good work, left me wondering about the situation and how it came about. Nice dungeon too.
    #83

    ReplyDelete
  37. Love the twist! You kept up the suspense to the end - now I want to see what happens next :-)

    ReplyDelete
  38. I love the other worldliness and the dungeon scenery. Also, I felt like telepathic communication was definitely a must in this challenge! Great work. #115

    ReplyDelete
  39. Wow, that was so great, Alyssa! I loved it!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Great job! I'd love to read more about what's happening. Great tease to a longer piece. :)

    ReplyDelete
  41. Well done. Really good. Can't believe you are only 13!! Fab :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Good job, Allysa! The great escape! Loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Love the orange mush and the key..nice details!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Great tension throughout! Great job! Off to vote for you :-)

    ReplyDelete
  45. That was great. It caught my interest quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Wow! Very powerful and kept my attention. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  47. I agree, having to deliver food to prisoner would set me on edge. I love the setting you have here.

    #109

    ReplyDelete
  48. Alyssa, I'm curious to know more about what becomes of Isabelle and the prisoners after they escape!

    By the way, does your mom run the blog Imagine Today? I was just reading the bio for that writer and noticed that she teaches figure skating, and that you mentioned your mom teaches figure skating...

    Anyway, good luck with the writing!

    #124

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep that's her! And Jess from Write.Skate.Dream is my sister! :)

      Thanks!

      Delete
  49. I loved how you built up the setting. Did not expect the prisoner to be other-worldly; thought it was going to be a contemporary story when it started. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Isabelle...in a weird sci-fi mind control story.. i totally loved it! voted! :D

    ReplyDelete
  51. You left us wanting more. Good job.

    thanks for visiting my wordpress blog.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Hello, I'm back with good news :)

    Your entry has been shortlisted and will move on to round 2 of the competition. :) There will be a semi-final round 3) and a final (round 4)

    ReplyDelete
  53. Congrats about being shortlisted! Great ending, nice job with your entry!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Yum--orange mush. My favorite. I like the way you handled this story and used the ending tag line.


    Lee (#126 on the Campaign Challenge List)
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

    ReplyDelete
  55. The creepiness was there from the very beginning *shudders* nice.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Ooh, nice job. This would definitely be a good start to a much longer piece...I think Isabelle should have a romance with the prisoner. :)

    ReplyDelete
  57. The tension is great! Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Great entry. Fast paced and a great read.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Loved your entry, will be voting for you too!

    ReplyDelete
  60. One thing I think great settings have in common is the details...which you totally had here. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Wow. Great job!

    I'm #149
    melissamaygrove.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  62. Hi, Alyssa. Great job on your story and congratulations for placing in the contest! You've won a critique of the first chapter (or first 25 pages) of your novel from me! Someone was supposed to give me your email address, but no one ever did... If you go to my blog and send me a note through the "contact me" page, I'll get to work on your story!

    ReplyDelete
  63. Congratulations on your win! I need you to email me so we can get your Prizes to you=)
    kathleen dot doyle88 at yahoo dot com
    ASAP please=)

    ReplyDelete