Monday, February 20, 2012

First Campaign Challenge!

Today is the first day of Rachael Harrie's Fourth Campaign!  Hop over to her blog to get the official rules.  Here's the prompt for today!



Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!


Shadows crept across the wall.  The prison was cold and gloomy.  Thin strands of spiderwebs hung from the ceiling glittering in the moonlight and casting an eerie glow.  Isabelle wished she didn't have to bring food to the prisoners every night, she was scared of them.  These people weren't ordinary, they knew things other's didn't.  Isabelle walked down the stairs, her heart beating harder with every step.  As she got to the bottom she stopped dead in her tracks. A prisoner stared at her from the other side of the room.  His eyes glowed a powerful blue.
Isabelle gripped the container of orange mush in her hands.
"Get back in your cell!" Isabelle yelled.
He only stared back.
Then he moved closer, speeding up with every step.
"We need you Isabelle!  We need you!" His whispers echoed throughout the room.
Isabelle screamed and fell to the floor as a sharp pain pierced her neck.  Her whole body was pulsing.
Then the pulsing stopped, and a new feeling of purpose filled her.
"You know what to do," he said.
She pulled the key out from her pocket and opened everyone's cell.
She escaped with the prisoners and behind her everything faded.

Hope you enjoyed!  I'm # 37 vote for me if you liked it! :)

Thanks
Alyssa :)




150 comments:

  1. Oooo... way to build a nice setting, Alyssa! I felt the tension too. Nice work :D

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  2. Great job Alyssa! This was very suspenseful and I liked the tension throughout the passage. Very cool!

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  3. Alyssa, great job on building the tension!

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  4. wow! great getaway! i'd like to hear more!

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  5. I love this challenge. You did great. Thanks for visiting my page and leaving such a nice comment.

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  6. Prison scene. And a girl delivering food for the inmates. Yes. There's a lot you can embellish into a bigger story here. Nice one! :)

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  7. Right there with everybody who commented before me, great job. Nice one. +1 follower.

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    1. Thanks! And thanks for the follow too! :)

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  8. Oh man, super creepy. That was a great build up. I was on edge the whole time.

    Thanks for commenting on mine as well!

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  9. Alyssa, your descriptions are vivid and the story is suspenseful. You got my vote. Well done!

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  10. I love creepy dungeon scenes and yours was wonderful! Well done! BTW, thanks for dropping by My Withershins, too! :) (In case you're wondering, I have trouble commenting using my Word Press identity so I'm using this one instead)

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  11. I enjoyed this! I'm only sorry that it was so short...I'm curious to know more. MORE MORE MORE! lol. Well done!

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  12. Very intriguing! I want to know more!

    P.S.: I adore your cute panda background! :)

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  13. Wish it was longer! Great job! New Follower.

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  14. Really interesting. Why do they need her? Who are the prisoners? What is the pain in her neck? Lots of great questions to follow up on.

    Tale Spinning: Wednesday's Child

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  15. Ooh, creepy. You're good at building tension. I wish I knew what happened next!

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  16. Eerie and interesting....great job! :) (and thanks for your vote!)

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  17. Nice job! You did a great job creating the atmosphere. :-)

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  18. The tension and evocative atmosphere was tangible. Great entry!! Roland

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  19. Great job, nice tension, wonderful scene building...are you sure you're only 13?! Followed you right back!

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    1. Thanks!! Yes I really am 13 LOL! :)

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  20. Good tension. and your descriptions are great. I liked the "powerful blue". Good job!

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  21. Brilliant description, I could almost feel the cold of the dungeon. Great job!

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  22. Loved it -- voting for you now :)

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  23. This was excellent - jailer turned paranormal criminal? What's not to love? :)

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  24. Oh, that sounds interesting. I wish I knew what happened after the escape.

    (I'm #59)

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  25. Oh wow, kind of creepy! I wanted to find out what happens next!

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  26. wow - unique prison eh? well done!

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  27. Well written. You kept the tension thick throughout. Great entry. You already visited me (#107)

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  28. Wonderful! Bravo! I want to know where they go and who these prisoners are and their crimes! Great job!

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  29. You've got my like, and I'm curious about the prisoners.

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  30. Very tense, and I loved the twist at the end. I'm thinking the prisoners are vampires or something similar? Great job!

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  31. Wish this were longer, because now my curiosity is peaked!

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  32. This is great! I'm curious what he did to her.

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  33. Great job, Alyssa! I love the vivid description at the start and I really want to know what exactly he did to her.

    I'm a new follower too. :)

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  34. Thanks everyone for all of the awesome comments and thanks for all of my awesome new followers!! :D

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  35. Wow! So much in just 200 words! I did not expect that she'd escape, I was thinking it was going to be another person dying (not that that's bad at all!...well, you know what I mean! lol). Great job!

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  36. Good work, left me wondering about the situation and how it came about. Nice dungeon too.
    #83

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  37. Love the twist! You kept up the suspense to the end - now I want to see what happens next :-)

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  38. I love the other worldliness and the dungeon scenery. Also, I felt like telepathic communication was definitely a must in this challenge! Great work. #115

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  39. Wow, that was so great, Alyssa! I loved it!!

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  40. Great job! I'd love to read more about what's happening. Great tease to a longer piece. :)

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  41. Well done. Really good. Can't believe you are only 13!! Fab :)

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  42. Good job, Allysa! The great escape! Loved it.

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  43. Love the orange mush and the key..nice details!

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  44. Great tension throughout! Great job! Off to vote for you :-)

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  45. That was great. It caught my interest quickly.

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  46. Wow! Very powerful and kept my attention. Great job!

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  47. I agree, having to deliver food to prisoner would set me on edge. I love the setting you have here.

    #109

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  48. Alyssa, I'm curious to know more about what becomes of Isabelle and the prisoners after they escape!

    By the way, does your mom run the blog Imagine Today? I was just reading the bio for that writer and noticed that she teaches figure skating, and that you mentioned your mom teaches figure skating...

    Anyway, good luck with the writing!

    #124

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    1. Yep that's her! And Jess from Write.Skate.Dream is my sister! :)

      Thanks!

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  49. I loved how you built up the setting. Did not expect the prisoner to be other-worldly; thought it was going to be a contemporary story when it started. Great job!

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  50. Isabelle...in a weird sci-fi mind control story.. i totally loved it! voted! :D

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  51. You left us wanting more. Good job.

    thanks for visiting my wordpress blog.

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  52. Hello, I'm back with good news :)

    Your entry has been shortlisted and will move on to round 2 of the competition. :) There will be a semi-final round 3) and a final (round 4)

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  53. Congrats about being shortlisted! Great ending, nice job with your entry!

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  54. Yum--orange mush. My favorite. I like the way you handled this story and used the ending tag line.


    Lee (#126 on the Campaign Challenge List)
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  55. The creepiness was there from the very beginning *shudders* nice.

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  56. Ooh, nice job. This would definitely be a good start to a much longer piece...I think Isabelle should have a romance with the prisoner. :)

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  57. The tension is great! Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

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  58. Great entry. Fast paced and a great read.

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  59. Loved your entry, will be voting for you too!

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  60. One thing I think great settings have in common is the details...which you totally had here. Love it!

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  61. Wow. Great job!

    I'm #149
    melissamaygrove.blogspot.com

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  62. Hi, Alyssa. Great job on your story and congratulations for placing in the contest! You've won a critique of the first chapter (or first 25 pages) of your novel from me! Someone was supposed to give me your email address, but no one ever did... If you go to my blog and send me a note through the "contact me" page, I'll get to work on your story!

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  63. Congratulations on your win! I need you to email me so we can get your Prizes to you=)
    kathleen dot doyle88 at yahoo dot com
    ASAP please=)

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